phirst things first

i gotta do biology by jan 1, 2006. and that's my final answer.

profits and learnings

moving from my mind to my heart this last weekend was the step i needed to get really moving on my path. who knew? well, i know the answer to that, and thank the goddess, that i finally got it. my heart. let my heart lead the way. what a revolution. because the heart is what knows. it has all the answers. there is no tom foolery there. the head on the other hand...ah, welll, that little mechanism there, especially when plugged into the collective consciousness of all them others, that's when the biggest distraction comes. but okay, i'm digressing, let's get back on focus.

this does make perfect sense now. no matter what i want to do next, i think it's important to have a signficant bunch of fundage collected. whether it's another around-the-world journey, seriously relocating to berkeley, moving to thailand, living at eslen or omega, starting my own business...whatever, i am going to have a nest egg. living hand to mouth is just not the truth. and it's no fun either. so...i'm in the money collecting--money cultivating mode. savesavesavesavesave...invest and save some more.

and so i'm going to follow the old school L'Erin/new school Angel model by working full-time and part-time jobs concurrently. my prayer is that i'm hired as the program manager at one world now! then 15 hours a week at nordstrom or something else paying similarly well. the pocket laceation and saving process is incredibly important yes, but it's also important to be gaining experience in my field and passions. not just working for the sake of making and saving money.

there are many important pieces of the pie that will manifest once the money comes a rollin'--ashtanga intensive, raw foods, my own space--and commitment. that precious, gentle agreement that just makes everything line up. because i'm willing to dedicate myself to my vision.

k1 speed shawty. it's a comin'.

me

put a fork in it

providence

COMMITTED

until one is committed,
there is hesitancy,
the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.
concerning all acts of initiative,
and creation,
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which, kills countless ideas & splendid plans:

That the moment one definitively commits oneself,
then Providence moves, too.

all sorts of things occur to help one
that would never otherwise have occurred.
a whole stream of events
issues from the decision,
raising in one's favor all manner
of unforseen incidents & meetings
& material assistance,

which no one could have dreamed
would have come their way.

whatever you can do,
or dream you can begin it.
boldness has genius,
power and magic in it.

BEGIN IT NOW.

--william h. murray

prerequisites

i have made the table today. and i am writing the letter.

what i have learned is that when i am feeling anxious and knawing at the bits, it's time for me to take action. some kinda something. a micromovement that brings me closer to my goals. i no longer follow my anxiety and peel back the layers to see what's brewing beneath the surface.

i have learned the trick of changing gears all together, of shifting paradigms and leaping landscapes, enabling what is new and fresh and vital to occupy my mind. micromovements. steps in the right direction that have absolutely nothing to do with processing and everything to do with manifesting. one piece at a time until it happens.

this is a good thing. an incredible tool in the toolbelt and for this i am so very grateful.

love and light's destiny,

l'